BROKEBACK CAT MOUNTAIN

I live with two cats: Clyde and Stuart, who belong to C and D respectively. Until now, I had no idea that cats could have personalities, let alone such distinct ones.

Clyde is the friendly one, who loves to explore. He has been in cat heaven ever since I moved in to live with them. I had brought along a suitcase full of spices from home, and Clyde spends most of his waking hours in my room, exploring all the new smells.

Stuart on the other hand, is the good-looking bloke, all sleek black fur and what C calls a white garter on his hind leg. But if a stranger tries to pet him, he runs the risk of being hissed at or scratched to within an inch of his life. And both C and D have unsuccessfully tried to convince me that he doesn’t actually bite, it is just “love-bites.”

Wars are fought at home between C and D for their affections and there are strict rules in force about whose lap the cats can sit on while we all watch television. The cats are both male and hence D feels a little less threatened. His constant refrain is that in a house with two women, he is awfully glad that at least the cats are male.

All said and done, the two are a constant source of amusement. D has a tiny laser light that he shines all around the house and the cats simply go berserk at the sight of it. They jump up at walls following the laser pointer and provide us with endless laughs. I am sure that D is walking a thin line here. One of these days, he is going to be charged with cruelty to animals, as I keep warning him every so often.

Yesterday evening we all settled down to watch an episode of One Tree Hill and the cats as usual played favorites. Both cats decided to favor D with their affections in spite of him trying to hand Clyde over to C. After a few minutes, something very strange happened. Clyde climbed on top of Stuart and got busy licking his ear. This sent all of us into hysterics and D exclaimed, “Great, we have gay cats now.” “This sure is Brokeback Cat Mountain.”