Meet Rabia Sultana!!

Another one of those ethnic days at work (yawwwwwwwwwn!!). What do I wear? The same old settu saree? And who was going to help me wear it? I had better get it perfectly right if I did not want derogatory looks and thinly veiled sarcastic comments from the mallu brigade at work.
Then inspiration strikes… or let me reframe it… the recipe to disaster stuck… why didn’t I try one of those Malabar Muslim outfits, especially the ones worn during the “oppana”?.
I shot off a frantic email to friends, enemies and country men… “Did anyone have an oppana costume?” I was laboring under the misconception that anyone who was Muslim and lived in the Malabar region was bound to have one… rather like the ubiquitous ghagras every self respecting fashionista would have in her wardrobe.
The replies I got to the above mentioned email really set my teeth on edge:
“Why don’t u try the Kummattikali costume?”
Me: What on earth is that?
A very cryptic reply: “Ask your darling hubby.” ( I found out later it was a colorful mask dance of Kerala)
The next reply was even more enlightening: “I shall check with my girlfriend.” Err.. you sure about this? What if she thinks you’re a cross dresser?
“Oppana costume?” “What is that?”. And all this while I thought I was the only “fraud” mallu in this group!!!
A very hesitant reply from a body builder types: “I shall check with the womenfolk at home in Kozhikode.” ( I would have loved to have seen the expressions of the said womenfolk when the request was made)
Since it was pretty obvious that a readymade costume was not to be found for love or for money, I set my mind towards making one of my own. That should be simple enough. All I needed was one of those long sleeved blouses, I could use the top half of the settu mundu to make my veil and the bottom half could be worn lungi style…all I would need was a belt to secure it in place…. not much effort I figured!!!
Phone call to R, (my very own yellow pages, I often tell her). “R, do u have a long sleeved top I could use as part of an oppana costume?” “R” by now used to my out of the world ideas, didn’t bat an eyelid and calmly said. “Well I have a green one that my husband calls “a Pakistani flag”. The blouse was perfect, sleeves and length and color… But wait a minute… the neckline.. I was pretty sure the women folk of the said region didn’t wear a plunging neckline like this one had, so I had to regretfully put that one aside.
After two more unsuccessful attempts at finding the perfect long sleeved blouse (one was a bright red kurta that ended at my knees and the other was a shiny black top sewn indiscriminately with plate sized sequins) I decided to see if I could shorten one of my kurtas. I was rummaging in my closet with that in mind when hey presto!! I found an old shiny blue top that I used to wear with my jeans. And I also had a settu mundu to match!!!
Next I needed heavy jewellery to match. “P”, yet another long suffering friend of mine, actually lent me her kundan set that she had used at her wedding !!
Next morning, in a frantic hurry to make it to work on time, I begged and pleaded with hubby dear to please iron my blouse so it didn’t look so disreputable. Off I went to have a quick bath… and that’s when disaster stuck. Hubby dear had used the highest setting on the iron and had burnt a hole in my blouse!!! Looking sufficiently chastened, he did point out that it wasn’t too bad, that my head covering would cover most of the burnt area.
I was mad enough by this time to get into the confounded outfit come what may… The sheer effort I had put into the outfit had to be compensated somehow. After a lot of disaster recovery and camouflaging in the restroom of my office, thanks to friends, I was finally ready.
The rest of the morning was spent in staring down a lot of people, some disbelieving, some shocked, some amused and some plain curious. But the best moment of all came when the news filtered in THAT I HAD ACTUALLY WON THE ETHNIC DAY COMPETITION!!!