NO, I DO NOT HAVE A COMMUNICABLE DISEASE

“Meet S, she has just arrived from India and …….. she is married.” This is how most of my introductions go. The reactions are a study by itself. Eyes widen, smiles turn brittle and is it my imagination or are the handshakes a little limper?”

I am still trying to figure out this phenomenon. Does the fact that I am married make me weird? Do I have to be handled with kid gloves or something? Does it make you less of a man/woman to be friends with a married woman? Hello???? I am married. It does not mean that I have lost the ability to laugh, to make friends, have fun and do all the crazy stuff you guys do. Yeah, I will set limits. But then, don’t all friendships have boundaries?

The question I get asked next is,” How come you came to the US leaving your hubby and baby behind?” I came for the same reasons that you did, my friend. The opportunity to learn a new skill, to see a new country, to broaden my horizons, not to mention the chance to meet new people and make new friends. And the fact that I have a completely supportive partner who encourages me in realizing my dreams makes it all the more easier. Yes, I miss them, what kind of a question is that? Who would not miss running into a pair of strong arms to wash away the travails of the day or holding a warm sweet- smelling toddler close??

As for why I left the two behind, I could tell you the true reason, the fact that there is a small matter of visas. I will be home before their visas are approved. I fail to understand why that makes me a pariah. I wonder if the reactions would be the same if the roles were reversed. What if it was my husband who was here? And it was me and the baby who were left behind? Would the same questions be asked? Or would my husband be put on a pedestal for being so self-sacrificing and working so hard to provide for his family? Is it different just because I am a woman??