HAPPY GOLDEN NEW YEAR

Today is Vishu. The mallu New Year. As I woke up sleepy-eyed to gaze upon the Vishu Kanni, it stuck me. The mallu obsession with the yellow metal extends to the Vishu Kanni too. All of the items that make up the vishu kanni bear some resemblance to the precious metal. The yellow flowers, the bronze uruli, the lit lamp, the frame of the mirror, the yellow cucumber, not to mention the jewelry and the new clothes-all of these are some shade of yellow.

Take a ride through Kerala and you would think you had landed in Gold’s Own Country. The hoardings, the advertisements painted on the walls, the banners, all advertise jewelery stores; not only in Kerala but exotic locations like the Middle East too!!! The sheer number of jewelry stores that exist boggles the mind. And the number of people who throng these stores at any time of night or day makes you wonder if India truly is the poor country it is made out to be.

One only has to look at mallu brides to see the excesses which people commit. Most mallu brides dressed up in all their wedding finery could easily rival the caparisoned and gold-bedecked elephants of the Thrissur pooram!
Gold or no gold, I hope every mallu has a truly golden new year ahead!!!

ONE AND A HALF

They are an integral part of Bangalore city. In fact, no visit to the city is complete unless you’ve experienced a ride in one. The pathetic public transport system the city has has ensured that one is at their mercy if you ever want to get anywhere on time. You can find them in all the nooks and crannies of the city. The ubiquitous yellow and black rattle traps, more often than not belching out thick, dark, smoke and creating a racket loud enough to wake the dead. But strangely enough, the first drops of rain and they vanish, rather like a group of mice at the sight of a cat.

To their credit, they are the only things that can navigate Bangalore’s crazy traffic. The only ones who can make a 180-degree turn right in the middle of a busy thoroughfare and get away with it. A ride in an autorickshaw is certainly not for the faint-hearted. The heart-stopping speeds, the sudden stops, the feeling of being airborne when you encounter a pot hole, who needs the thrills of an amusement park when you can have a similar ride at quarter the price?

Many a professional has had his negotiation skills perfected haggling with the auto driver. In this case, the customer is certainly not king. If you happen to want to go the same way as the auto driver, you can heave a sigh of relief and get into the contraption, happy that you’ve won a major battle.

Do you need to go anywhere in the evening? Prepare to be told “one and a half agotte madam” (you will have to pay one and half). This has nothing to do with the area, the distance or the time. This is the acid test to see if you are a native to the city or one of the “outsiders” who don’t know any better. Another trick in the book, to take you through the most circuitous route possible. Or to ask you “ yava kade hogali madam?(which way should I go, madam?) If you hem and haw, you are done for. Prepare to be parted from a few extra rupees, after all, haven’t you heard the adage, a fool and her money are easily parted?

But to their credit, Bangalore’s autorickshaws have definitely honed the soft skills of all the professionals in the city. This stands them in good stead both within the country and abroad. It is certainly about time that the not so humble autorickshaw drivers of Bangalore were given due credit for putting Bangalore on the world map.